Baby planning....so much fun, especially when you have time to think about things and figure out what you want. With MJD I felt so different, he was so much more rambunctious, busy and bold in utero while I was pregnant and it was a totally different way of thinking with him.
This baby already feels so different and it's so interesting to pray for him, learn about him and think about all the ways he's going to be similar and different from his big brother.
Names.....we're working on it. We've narrowed our top three names down, Mason has his favorite already from the list but we're waiting to make sure we've really got the right name. Middle names have been narrowed down to the final two.
Decorations......Gabi should be coming down next weekend and we're swapping some furniture, then I hope to get into the room and start cleaning things out of the closet, figuring out paint colors and bedding and then get his furniture into the room.
Rather than take away from MJD and change up his world, we decided to keep his life as much the same as possible for the next year and through the first year of the baby being here, so we're going to leave him in his room and redo the guest room for little bean. We picked up an amazing deal on nursery furniture via Craigslist early on in the pregnancy and have a very nice white furniture set. (Like I said, it seems like everything has been different with this little boy, all the way down to how I want his room to feel.)
I've been looking at a lot of bedding sets, but this one seems to be the one I keep coming back to. Something calming and sweet about the elephants, and I really love the brown and green combination. Love this blanket too and might use this as the bedding focus rather than the quilt.
I'm also thinking about paint colors and have to narrow things down to some shades of green and khaki. Thinking about painting the room two colors and using a white chair rail along the middle of the wall to break it up and add more white accents.
Oh, so much fun.....so much to think about.
Once his name is settled down I've got a beautiful idea of his wall decoration that is growing in my mind. Hoping I can execute it to match the picture in my mind. Thinking along the lines of a dictionary entry with all the qualities that I want to define his life.
10.30.2010
10.29.2010
Today's the day.......
Today my man is taking his huge engineering test! After 4 years of school, 4 years of working and several months and a few terribly long weeks of studying it's here. TODAY!
And there's nothing I can do or say to relax him. He knows what he knows, he'll do what he can do. I want so badly for him to pass this, because he's worked so hard for this and he's such a faithful and loyal man in all he does.
He has such a long day ahead of him, so many questions, so much to think about, and all I can think is I am so stinking proud of him already. Pass or fail, I couldn't smile bigger when I think of how hard he works.
I've been up every few hours last night, either from being alone or because I kept thinking and praying for him. So today the only thing I can do for him is pray him through. Praying for wisdom, strength, endurance, patience, discernment and protection from the tricks of the enemy.
So thankful that in our moments like this in life resting in the trust of the Lord and in His plans is a sweet sweet spot.
And there's nothing I can do or say to relax him. He knows what he knows, he'll do what he can do. I want so badly for him to pass this, because he's worked so hard for this and he's such a faithful and loyal man in all he does.
He has such a long day ahead of him, so many questions, so much to think about, and all I can think is I am so stinking proud of him already. Pass or fail, I couldn't smile bigger when I think of how hard he works.
I've been up every few hours last night, either from being alone or because I kept thinking and praying for him. So today the only thing I can do for him is pray him through. Praying for wisdom, strength, endurance, patience, discernment and protection from the tricks of the enemy.
So thankful that in our moments like this in life resting in the trust of the Lord and in His plans is a sweet sweet spot.
10.27.2010
Bedtime sweetness for mama
So while Tim has been up late at work studying, I've caved in and let little man sleep in bed with me till Tim gets home, which really isn't much past bedtime anyway.
As he crawled into bed he said, "That my spot." like he owned that part of the bed. I asked him where baby brother would sleep and he pointed to the spot next to him and then told me mommy sleeps on this side and daddy on that side.
Tonight, rather than shut off the lights, I had to pay some bills :( and do computer work so I left one light on and did my thing. I kept telling little man to close your eyes and go to sleep.
His response: "I trying."
For whatever reason that just tickled my heart. His sweet little effort to try to sleep for me just made my busy night so happy. Love that little dude!
By the way, he did succeed....
10.25.2010
The part I love!
This is the part of pregnancy I love!!!! Now that the scares are over, praise God! I am hoping to enjoy the next bit of pregnancy....
the part where your baby bump is growing, and people know you're pregnant, not just fat :)
the part where you can sleep if you want, but you're not exhausted completely ALL the time
the part where people open doors, ask you if you need help and pay a little more attention
the part where you know if it's a boy or girl and can dream about little clothes and bedding
the part where I can feel little kicks or punches randomly throughout the day :) LOVE it!
the part where your baby bump is growing, and people know you're pregnant, not just fat :)
the part where you can sleep if you want, but you're not exhausted completely ALL the time
the part where people open doors, ask you if you need help and pay a little more attention
the part where you know if it's a boy or girl and can dream about little clothes and bedding
the part where I can feel little kicks or punches randomly throughout the day :) LOVE it!
10.20.2010
Moments
There are moments in life that define who you are. Moments in life that shape the way you live, the way you think or the way you behave. There are moments that bring sheer joy and moments that strike true terror in your heart. Moments tend to be the striking memories in our lives, the moments that shape our very being.
Today my moments went from peace to panic to praise. I spent my morning like most mornings, teaching, talking and taking care of a million things. At lunch time I ran to the bathroom to quickly pee, wash my hands and then hurry back to the workroom. While in the restroom I discovered that I had begun bleeding. In that moment my heart went from peace to panic. I quickly made my way to my friend's classroom for help since I was thoroughly unprepared for such an event, returned to my room and called my OB immediately. After talking to the nurse, trying to sit through a normal teacher lunchtime filled with talkative adults, and getting a call back from my nurse who had to speak to my doctor, we decided to wait things out a bit and see what happened throughout the afternoon.
Trying to remain calm, I knew I had no choice but to put on a happy face. You can't exactly have a panic attack or break into tears while teaching middle school students. I reminded myself that if the doctor was concerned he would have had me come in immediately. So I waited an hour and when I went back to the bathroom I knew something was wrong since everything had started becoming worse. Now with no break I had to return to class and carry on business as usual. I quickly sent a text to my friend, who happens to be a vice principal in my school to rush to my room and cover my class. I called the nurse again who was on the other line and after waiting for a few minutes I thought I would return to class and wait for the call. Upon returning and missing the call I called back AGAIN and finally they decided to just schedule me in immediately.
Now the fear turns to panic.....I called my VP back and one of the administrators came down immediately and I left school, called Tim who was waiting for me in the truck to go and we rushed to the doctor's office.
On the trek up to the office we sat in the car in deafening silence, each left to his or her thoughts. I remember thinking:
No matter what, if God gives or takes away I will choose to bless His name because the same God I served 3 hours ago is the same God in control right now.
You truly have no idea how much you love a child until you are honestly faced with the thought that you might no longer have that child in your life.
I love this little boy with everything that is within me and I just have to let God do His thing.
No matter what happened in the doctor's office, I would not allow Satan to use anything to try and destroy our family.
After an hour and half of waiting in the office we finally saw a doctor who said she could tell there was bleeding and wanted to have an ultrasound done to check the placenta and baby, but that things should be okay because they were easily able to establish the baby's heartbeat. So we waited some more and then went back for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed no problems, baby and placenta were okay. So the verdict was to send me home, take it easy and see how things play out over the next few days.
So we're home. I took it easy, sat down for all of Bible study tonight and let Tim do all the Mason duty. I'm resting and we'll see how the next few days go.
Today my moments defined a lot of me. The moment of fear when I realized things weren't as they should be. The moments of peace as God assured me of His presence. The moments of strength when I wanted to cry or crumble in panic, and as I write this the moment of praise that I get one more night with my sweet little bean. Because in the moment it took for me to understand I might lose my little boy, God reminded me that our entire lives are simply that, a moment in time.
I would post our latest picture of little bean, but Blogger isn't uploading photos, so it will have to wait.
Today my moments went from peace to panic to praise. I spent my morning like most mornings, teaching, talking and taking care of a million things. At lunch time I ran to the bathroom to quickly pee, wash my hands and then hurry back to the workroom. While in the restroom I discovered that I had begun bleeding. In that moment my heart went from peace to panic. I quickly made my way to my friend's classroom for help since I was thoroughly unprepared for such an event, returned to my room and called my OB immediately. After talking to the nurse, trying to sit through a normal teacher lunchtime filled with talkative adults, and getting a call back from my nurse who had to speak to my doctor, we decided to wait things out a bit and see what happened throughout the afternoon.
Trying to remain calm, I knew I had no choice but to put on a happy face. You can't exactly have a panic attack or break into tears while teaching middle school students. I reminded myself that if the doctor was concerned he would have had me come in immediately. So I waited an hour and when I went back to the bathroom I knew something was wrong since everything had started becoming worse. Now with no break I had to return to class and carry on business as usual. I quickly sent a text to my friend, who happens to be a vice principal in my school to rush to my room and cover my class. I called the nurse again who was on the other line and after waiting for a few minutes I thought I would return to class and wait for the call. Upon returning and missing the call I called back AGAIN and finally they decided to just schedule me in immediately.
Now the fear turns to panic.....I called my VP back and one of the administrators came down immediately and I left school, called Tim who was waiting for me in the truck to go and we rushed to the doctor's office.
On the trek up to the office we sat in the car in deafening silence, each left to his or her thoughts. I remember thinking:
No matter what, if God gives or takes away I will choose to bless His name because the same God I served 3 hours ago is the same God in control right now.
You truly have no idea how much you love a child until you are honestly faced with the thought that you might no longer have that child in your life.
I love this little boy with everything that is within me and I just have to let God do His thing.
No matter what happened in the doctor's office, I would not allow Satan to use anything to try and destroy our family.
After an hour and half of waiting in the office we finally saw a doctor who said she could tell there was bleeding and wanted to have an ultrasound done to check the placenta and baby, but that things should be okay because they were easily able to establish the baby's heartbeat. So we waited some more and then went back for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed no problems, baby and placenta were okay. So the verdict was to send me home, take it easy and see how things play out over the next few days.
So we're home. I took it easy, sat down for all of Bible study tonight and let Tim do all the Mason duty. I'm resting and we'll see how the next few days go.
Today my moments defined a lot of me. The moment of fear when I realized things weren't as they should be. The moments of peace as God assured me of His presence. The moments of strength when I wanted to cry or crumble in panic, and as I write this the moment of praise that I get one more night with my sweet little bean. Because in the moment it took for me to understand I might lose my little boy, God reminded me that our entire lives are simply that, a moment in time.
I would post our latest picture of little bean, but Blogger isn't uploading photos, so it will have to wait.
10.18.2010
Did I really....
just say that?
Opening scene: Mason jumping on my bed with a plastic golf club trying to get it in the rotating fan.
Me: Mason, stop doing that and go fight with Daddy!
Really, did I just tell my 3 year old to go fight with daddy? Yes, I did......Here's the image that followed and what went on till dinner.
Opening scene: Mason jumping on my bed with a plastic golf club trying to get it in the rotating fan.
Me: Mason, stop doing that and go fight with Daddy!
Really, did I just tell my 3 year old to go fight with daddy? Yes, I did......Here's the image that followed and what went on till dinner.
10.17.2010
Name battle begins
So the baby name battle begins. With MJD we had a name before we even were close to finding out if he was a he or she. This time around, call it being the second child, mommy's exhaustion, or just the lack of inspiration, but we've still got nothing officially debatable yet.
So here are some of my musings.....not sure where I stand on all of them, but we have time.
Liam
Harper
Owen
Lucas
Holden
Gavin
Brody
Brady
Colton
Cole
Cooper
Anderson
Grayson
Not sure if we'll use the "James" for a middle name again. I kind of like the idea of both boys sharing middle and last names, especially since there were no boys to officially carry on the James name, but we'll see, I'm not sold on it for sure.
If you have a cool boy name that can hold up to Mason feel free to pass it along!
So here are some of my musings.....not sure where I stand on all of them, but we have time.
Liam
Harper
Owen
Lucas
Holden
Gavin
Brody
Brady
Colton
Cole
Cooper
Anderson
Grayson
Not sure if we'll use the "James" for a middle name again. I kind of like the idea of both boys sharing middle and last names, especially since there were no boys to officially carry on the James name, but we'll see, I'm not sold on it for sure.
If you have a cool boy name that can hold up to Mason feel free to pass it along!
10.16.2010
Goodbye.....Hello......
Goodbye First Trimester!
While it's been great building this tiny little baby over the last 13 weeks, I am so happy this trimester is over. I'm happy to be passing the season of building blood volume, night time queasiness, complete and utter exhaustion, my face breaking out because of floods of hormones, and overall yucky feeling.
Hello Second Trimester.....
I will embrace the maternity clothes. Sadness set in this week at not fitting into things, so my regular clothes were boxed up and but out of sight. I will see you again when my little bean is in my arms and not my belly.
I will embrace the tiny baby kicks I have finally started to feel.
I will embrace the bizarre need to eat at weird times.
This past Thursday night we had an appointment with our OB for blood work and an ultrasound. I wasn't able to get my blood drawn at my first appointment due to scheduling, so the tech had to drawn a ton of blood this time :( Worst part of pregnancy. On the flip side, we had our ultrasound to determine risk of Down Syndrome, and all the fluids and measurements looked perfectly healthy, praise God.
(The smushed part above the nose is a hand that came up, the nose is formed beautifully, at least from another photo it was.)I asked the technician if it would be possible to determine the baby's gender this time around. She said not for certain, but pretty close. So when our little bean showed up on the big screen t.v. we were watching, we got a perfect view of our...........drum roll please.............................
BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!
He's healthy and beautiful. He wanted to be onery and decided to turn and flip a few times, so we didn't get a perfect picture of him or all his parts, but we did get to see him drinking, his little heart beating, his spine all formed and our first view of him showed he was going to be a little brother to our little man Mason.
To be honest, this pregnancy has been so incredibly different from Mason's that I was convinced it was going to be a girl. So I was a tad disappointed at first, only because of selfish reasons of wanting pigtails and pink ribbons. I also liked the idea of getting to shop all over for a baby, but I know we will get some new things for this one too.
But the honor of getting to raise two little boys truly humbles me. I can't even begin to imagine what my home will be like with the two of them running around and playing. Mason is so excited about a little brother that he woke up this morning and climbed into bed with us. He woke me up asking, "Mama, my baby?" I told him the baby was sleeping and in my belly, and he said, "My boy."
Each and every time I think of him, I feel such a surge of love and pride for him. I can't wait to meet this tiny little man who will change the course of our lives and I can't wait to experience this wonderful plan God has ordained for him.
Now the name battle begins.....
Holly & Aaron
I got the privilege to take some photos of Casie's sister, Holly's wedding party last night. It was a beautiful party and a joy to see newlyweds celebrate.
10.11.2010
I really should be....
Doing laundry....
Putting away dishes....
Dusting...
Vacuuming...
Sorting through bags and boxes....
Finishing some presents I need to make....
Getting dinner ready.....
Or sleeping myself
But instead I've sat here and just held this sweet little sleeping man for the last hour and half. I couldn't resist.
He'll wake up in a bit, then we'll cuddle and get to work later. :)
Putting away dishes....
Dusting...
Vacuuming...
Sorting through bags and boxes....
Finishing some presents I need to make....
Getting dinner ready.....
Or sleeping myself
But instead I've sat here and just held this sweet little sleeping man for the last hour and half. I couldn't resist.
He'll wake up in a bit, then we'll cuddle and get to work later. :)
10.05.2010
Embracing 3
Ahhh. Little man is 3! For whatever reason 3 sounds so much more like a big kid than 2. Something about 2 made him still seem like a little baby/kid rather than just a big kid. But alas, 3 is here and now we embrace the joys and struggles of the year!
Joys....
Cuddling in the morning when he wakes up because he wants mommy or daddy to be with him.
Listening to him make up stories and songs in the back seat of the car.
Watching his little eyes and brain process things when we talk about things.
Hearing him negotiate for things like when I say one M&M and he says 2 :)
Eclectic styling decisions in the morning. (Yes, yesterday to avoid a fight he left the house with Handy Manny pajamas, fireman boots, cowboy hat and his leaf blower lawn tool.)
Struggles......
Negotiating sometimes ends in tears when he doesn't win and has to take a minute to process our reasoning.
Sharing seems to work when he wants someone to share with him but not when he has to share with someone else :(
Trying to understand where he comes up with some of these bizarre little stories and wondering what it is he's telling people outside our home???
Explaining non-tangible things to a 3 year old.
Joys....Cuddling in the morning when he wakes up because he wants mommy or daddy to be with him.
Listening to him make up stories and songs in the back seat of the car.
Watching his little eyes and brain process things when we talk about things.
Hearing him negotiate for things like when I say one M&M and he says 2 :)
Eclectic styling decisions in the morning. (Yes, yesterday to avoid a fight he left the house with Handy Manny pajamas, fireman boots, cowboy hat and his leaf blower lawn tool.)
Struggles......
Negotiating sometimes ends in tears when he doesn't win and has to take a minute to process our reasoning.
Sharing seems to work when he wants someone to share with him but not when he has to share with someone else :(
Trying to understand where he comes up with some of these bizarre little stories and wondering what it is he's telling people outside our home???
Explaining non-tangible things to a 3 year old.
10.04.2010
Seasons
Perhaps it is too early to be writing about this beautiful change in season, but I'm holding to the hope that fall is on it's way down south. The change of weather caused me to think about how many other things are changing seasons in my life.
My season is changing....
in my body as it grows
in motherhood
in pregnancy
in work
with my husband
with some friends
with family members
with God in my faith
As all these seasons shift and change I have to remind myself to let go of the past, put away fears and embrace the new season in life that God has in store for my life. It's sometimes hard to move out of our comfort levels, especially if you have lived in one season for a while, but each new season brings new joy and new adventures to be embraced.
My season is changing....
in my body as it grows
in motherhood
in pregnancy
in work
with my husband
with some friends
with family members
with God in my faith
As all these seasons shift and change I have to remind myself to let go of the past, put away fears and embrace the new season in life that God has in store for my life. It's sometimes hard to move out of our comfort levels, especially if you have lived in one season for a while, but each new season brings new joy and new adventures to be embraced.
10.02.2010
Hapy Birthday Mason!
Happy 3rd birthday my little goober!!!! It's early and you're already up and going playing with Tia and the dogs. Today is going to be such a busy day filled with a lot of excitement and fun. But before we being all the partying, I wanted to take a minute in the semi-quiet house to just think about you for a minute.
This is your last birthday in our house where you're the only little one! The thought of that brings tears to my eyes because while I know we will be greatly blessed by your little sister or brother, it also makes me a little sad that our time together as a family of just three won't last forever. We've had an amazing time together in our little family.
So as we go into this next year, I want you to know how incredibly amazing you make my life. Even in the midst of your tantrums and challenges, throwing fits, invoking your will or whatever else we face together, my world has been turned upside down since the day of your arrival and I can't ever imagine my life any other way. You grow me, challenge me, brighten my world and show me God in a new way every single day.
I am so proud of the little man you are becoming. So proud of your kind heart towards friends, even though sharing can be an issue at times. :) Proud of your understanding. Proud of your open heart toward God and your sweet spirit. Because I know in my heart those are the qualities that will grow you into an amazing man.
Today we're going to have a giant Cars party for you, at your insistent request. And if you get only cars toys this year it is because that is all you've told people for months! The theme is "Racing into 3" which is quite fitting for your little life as you race toward everything in life to enjoy it and grow in it. Today I want to thank God for you being in my life for it has shaped me and shown me purpose and passion. Thank you for being my sweet boy. I so look forward to everyday God grants us together. My prayer is I will have a long and healthy life to see you become His amazing man.
Happy 3rd birthday my little man!
Love,
Mommy
This is your last birthday in our house where you're the only little one! The thought of that brings tears to my eyes because while I know we will be greatly blessed by your little sister or brother, it also makes me a little sad that our time together as a family of just three won't last forever. We've had an amazing time together in our little family.
So as we go into this next year, I want you to know how incredibly amazing you make my life. Even in the midst of your tantrums and challenges, throwing fits, invoking your will or whatever else we face together, my world has been turned upside down since the day of your arrival and I can't ever imagine my life any other way. You grow me, challenge me, brighten my world and show me God in a new way every single day.
I am so proud of the little man you are becoming. So proud of your kind heart towards friends, even though sharing can be an issue at times. :) Proud of your understanding. Proud of your open heart toward God and your sweet spirit. Because I know in my heart those are the qualities that will grow you into an amazing man.
Today we're going to have a giant Cars party for you, at your insistent request. And if you get only cars toys this year it is because that is all you've told people for months! The theme is "Racing into 3" which is quite fitting for your little life as you race toward everything in life to enjoy it and grow in it. Today I want to thank God for you being in my life for it has shaped me and shown me purpose and passion. Thank you for being my sweet boy. I so look forward to everyday God grants us together. My prayer is I will have a long and healthy life to see you become His amazing man.
Happy 3rd birthday my little man!
Love,
Mommy
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