Perspective

My day didn't go as I planned it....my nap cut short....temper shorter and as I was ready to complain about this....

(which is only one of four piles all over my house at the moment)

So, I started to pray....and then I looked around with clearer eyes and saw.....

Brothers playing and sharing...for a moment at least :) And a very sweet little who is trying to sleep on his own after all his own playing.....

So now...I go to tackle the laundry with my phone reminding me of these words.....

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

New Adventure

So.....in keeping with working toward my goals for 2013.....I opened up a business from home. Ugh. That last statement holds a lot in it. I have a friend who sells Thirty One Gifts and have gone to these party events for several years now and every time I go I purchase items. I love the stuff. Well, after Thanksgiving I hosted my second 31 Party and while chatting with my bestie she mentioned purchasing the "consultant kit" to split the items and then just get the products cheaper.....so the wheels started turning and what was going to be a one time purchase has now turned into a business.....so I've been praying and praying and again praying some more over this and feel like on top of tightening our budget, cutting all corners, increasing income with Tim at work over time, this might be something I can do from home with a few outings here and there for parties and reap a little financial reward so I have some cash in our "fun" account. (Which let's face it just pays for play dates and the boys getting hungry when we go out and wanting CFA.)

Well the Big Pink box arrived at my house last week.....I stared at it for a few days overwhelmed. Ugh, I really did pull the trigger on that decision, huh? Then I opened it and felt more overwhelmed. Really? What was I thinking? Everyone I know locally is a little over Thirty One parties, no body ever wants to spend money in January because all the bills from Christmas have just come in, and I am so not a sales person. I can be chatty, but I don't quite know how to "sell" or talk people into things, and I hate when people try it on me so I don't want to be "that person". So this is surprisingly out of my comfort zone!

And yet....once again I am testing this power of prayer thing.....after praying for 3 days about how in the world am I even going to be able to do a party to just recover my outgoing expense.....He did it. Totally booked my first party! And I got a bunch of great ideas from folks for some parties later on.

And while I'm not sure it will actually happen, because my hostess has to get enough guests to commit to coming to make it worth while for the 2 hour drive up, it's a glimmer of possibility. So, once again, with a little less hesitation this time....I am stepping out in faith. Believing in something bigger than me and moving away from my comfort zone. And this time, it hurts a little less than before, I'm a little more excited to see what is around the bend and I have more faith knowing who is really in charge of things. (I'm starting to sound like one of those people who says everything is a God thing......and I'm ok with that :)

Eek! I have a lot to learn before this weekend!

https://www.mythirtyone.com/njdrumm/

P.S. Any out of towners who ever want to host a catalog party to earn free product let me know! I'll have to try one of those as well here soon :)

Pajama Day

You would have thought he was going to be happy to wear pjs to school?!?? Not my dude...."I am going to look ridiculous wearing pajamas at school mom!"

Why I chose to be a stay at home mom.

This morning after I dropped the biggest off at school, the littles and I had to run to Sams Club for some groceries and vacuum the car. Super exciting way to start off the week huh?! I had hoped to make it home before needed to nurse littlest, but alas he would not wait. So as I pulled into the parking lot and got him out of the car seat, freed up Bean from his chair to roam the back, and pulled on a nursing cover in my front seat to apease my littlest I just about started to laugh.

This is my life?!?! Really? Far from the world conquering dreams I had 10 years ago. 10 years....how did 10 years of my life already pass by? Wasn't I just the over confident, insecure 19 year old girl with dreams of city living and career building? As I viewed myself in my yoga pants, black top and flip flops I thought back to the days of shopping in high fashion designer stores with high heels, designer jeans and clingy tops! What happened to my life?

I did. I chose this. I willingly and actively chose the life of motherhood. I made a conscious choice to have sex and make babies and this is what happens. And on top of it....I chose to give up my career, stop building a 401K, put aside the accolades and professional recognition, and the paychecks. Long gone are the days of hearing "well done" by my boss and going out for drinks or dinner with co-workers, instead my days are smothered in sticky touches, lots of laundry, crumb scattered furniture, kissing boo-boos, building Legos, nursing babies and changing diapers, lots and lots of diapers! And the wild thing? I love it. I wouldn't change a moment of it. (Not that there aren't days of insane chaos, where I want to hid in the closet with chocolate and cry.)

No one is going to come home tonight and say, "Thanks for going to buy groceries or thanks for the clean clothes." The tasks are mundane, and when I worked outside of my home,  I would have hired someone else to do the work for me. But there's a purpose in it; far greater than I care to admit sometimes. And the more that I do it, the more my heart finds peace in it. The more I learn how to be the heart of my home.

There are three little lives that I chose to bring to this world. That bear my name, have my eyes and smiles. Three little men who will grow up and may conquer the giants I never will all because I chose to do the simple acts of everyday life. And I could choose to try and conquer the world; I could very well go back to work today if I wanted and pick up any career and make a name for myself. We'd have more money, more things, more vacations, more "stuff",  but then who would go with these little cuties to the grocery store? So I will conquer nap time and exercising at home this week instead, and thank God for another day of grace to share with these little lovelies.

And when life gets rough and the days feel long, when Satan throws his best shots at me to bring me down, I will remind myself of the goodness of God in giving me days like today. Days when I choose to be mommy, and all that it entails. Because the days may be long but the years are short, and this season will fly by!

Get More:

2 month visit

14.7 pounds
24.75 inches
Happy....healthy...5 vaccines :(

How did 2 months fly by????

New Year...New Committments

Resolutions seem ridiculous....people say I am going to lose 10 pounds this year then by March have put money down the drain in gym fees and stuffed their bellies with pizza and beer. Seems so cliche to me....but I do believe in the power of writing out goals and working toward something. So this past week while Tim had a couple days off of work we talked about where we would like to see ourselves and our family a year from now.

Here's what we came up with:

As a family:
* Have a family date at least once a month. Playing at the park, picnic, beach, bike trails, zoo, etc.
* Work on making sure we eat as many meals together as possible so we can sit and chat face to face with each other.
* Take 10 mins each night before bed and pick clothing out for the next day, straighten up each "station" we have and go to bed with a house picked up and ready for the next day.
* Get rid of the credit cards, completely plastic debt free.
* Save $3,000 into an emergency fund.
* Be intentional in reaching out and making friendships with our friends stronger.
* Take a family vacation to Disney in December for our 30th birthday week. 

I'd really like to fit back into my pre-baby jeans this year!!!! I have a closet full of clothes that had at one point fit me and would love to wear some of the stuff again. Hopefully in a couple months when this milk monster isn't such a tyrant and is on table food I can get away for chunks of time a few days a week and get into the gym. I know it's going to take time, so I'm being real about wanting to wear my clothes by at least his birthday :)

It's been on my heart to also be incredibly intentional about praying specific things for my man each day, so I've set a reminder on my phone to do just that each day. 

So there.....I wrote it out. Let's see where we're at and what we can check off the list in 363 days!