Library Adventures....a little late

Confession.....my son is about to turn 4 this week and I just this month took him to the public library for the first time! Esh....yes, I am also an English teacher, who chides students for not using the library.

I know, I know, but in the past with working all day and then trekking to the library we just never got around to it. We always ended up at BAM and just bought the books to keep at home. Well now that we're working on a one income budget everything has to become more frugal in our family. So the other day we trekked off to the public library to check it out.

MJD had a blast. We did have a long conversation in the car about how he was only going to "borrow" the books and movies and that we would have to keep going back to return them and check out new ones.
(Returning them for the first time was painful for him!)

Having read my girlfriends post earlier in the week about her first library experience with her preschool aged daughter I was a bit more prepared than what I would have been....thanks Beck!

MJD loved his time looking at and reading books.

We even had him get his own library card!

Registering his information and learning the rules.
Passing the librarian his books and movies....see the card in front of him, yes, that's his!!!!
We took home a filled bag of books and movies for the week.
An added bonus, we ran into some friends and were able to go out into this nice little greenery area and blow bubbles as part of "dinosaur stomp", since our friends were exploring dinos that day.

Library day has now quickly become part of our weekly routine, helps me remember to return the movies too!

The Art of Teething

There is a little white tooth with terrible jagged edges trying to make it's grand entrance in the very front of my little bean's bottom gum.....nasty business the art of teething. I wish they just came up silently, pain free and without much ado. But nevertheless, it is just a short while until he turns 6 months, and in following after his brother he is about to cut the first tooth. Hopefully soon, now that the process has started.

Thank the good Lord for these little mesh feeder contraptions, for bananas and for ice cubes!

Banana Success

Project baby food #1......banana mash......SUCCESS :)

(Feed me!)

(Big brother helped too!)

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Rice Cookie Addict

Liam was introduced to rice cakes for babies last week during his play date. What a hit!!!

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New Project!

As if I don't already have enough to keep me busy, I am embarking on a new adventure/project.....HOMEMADE BABYFOOD!!!! So this morning we bought the Baby Bullet and some fruits. Tonight we are starting easy with banana cereal but Wed a friend is coming over to show me the ins and outs and we will make up a big batch. Super excited about this project :)

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My new lifestyle

I feel being a stay at home mom is much harder most days than a working mom. I just feel like I want to get everything right and keep things in order and make this season perfect....then it all seems to crash on me with my over achiever expectations in place. Getting used to the non schedule of this scheduled world has been interesting too.
So when I feel overwhelmed in this role, I look at these photos. Like this one of my sweet big boy at his Clap Tap & Jingle class.
He makes this so worth everything!

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Little Buddies

Last week I met a girlfriend for breakfast after preschool drop off. While the mamas spent the time chatting, the babies spent time cooing at each other and sharing Cheerios and rice cookies.
It was not only great for me to hear some encouragement from Tricia and forge a new friendship in here, but Levi and Liam enjoyed the time.

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Down for the count

I am bed ridden today :( It has been over a year since I have felt sick and been stuck in bed due to a cold. Don't know if it is an allergy thing, season cold or what, but whatever it is has caused a terrible sore throat and icky feeling all around. Of course it would start up on the weekend of our long awaited marriage getaway weekend (post on that another time.)

As I have slept through most of the day and just chilled in bed with my ibuprofen and clear liquids I can sense in my spirit that this has been more God forcing me to slow down and stop the busyness of life that I have been caught up in more than anything else.

I have been working so hard to do things well, do everything I can in the time I have, juggle things efficiently, etc.

Nothing in and of itself in my life has been bad so to say, I just need to slow down my pace. Be still a little more. Rest a lot more, apparently. Stress a little less.


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The little things....

Some days I want to duct tape my toddler to the wall just to keep him still a while..... You know those frustrating days.

Then God sends me another reason to breathe, smile and just enjoy the antics of my almost 4 year old. Like sitting down to read and when I go to turn in the lamp I see he has lined up his superhero Squinkies on the ledge.

Sometimes those little things really do make your heart just smile and melt.

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Monday morning goodness

Great way to start the week. How is he already big enough for this? Bean sure loves it!

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Mason's Art

One of the nice things of this preschool age is the artwork that has been created. This is a picture of Mason's rendition of me.

(I know the photo has the shadow, but I wanted to make sure I got the photo of it before something happened to it.)

5 Month Bean

5 months doesn't really seam like a huge month, but so much has been happening in your little world!
You love to eat!!!! I wasn't really ready for food, but after a few nights of you screaming at the dinner table I gave in. Now you eat about 1-2 solid meals a day.
You love cereal, all fruits, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, green beans.
Not a fan of peas at all.
You're great about sleeping in your own bed at night time and our bedtime routine is set.
Naps are still preferred in mama's bed :)
You roll from your back to your belly but you get mad that you're too heavy to crawl and so you start to scream after a while.
You love the walking activity table.
You perk up when you hear that your brother is watching Curious George and will even stop crying at the sound of the monkey. (Not sure what the boy obsession is with George?!)
You tolerate your brother well, but are starting to not let him bother you too much.
You pinch, really hard!
When you see the nursing cover or I lay you that way in my arms you get really anxious and noisy like you can't wait another second to eat.
You are rather chill and mellow about 99% percent of the time, but when you lose it you REALLY lose it. Blotchy face, gasping and so on.
You love to sit in the highchair and play, and eat too.
Story time has been one of your favorite times of the day.
We haven't had to go to the doctor this month so I don't know your stats, but you don't really fit in 6 month clothing well anymore. Most of what you fit in is 9 months.
You love bath time and when you're clean and I'm putting lotion on you I can get you to giggle and laugh so much, it's the best part of my day.
You love to stand up, not that you can on your own or can even sit alone, but if I stand you up your world is happy.
You are still waking up to eat once at night :(
You're learning the drill about sleeping through church and we're close to getting the timing right on it.
You nap in the morning while we run errands and wait on brother, but your afternoon nap is super long and I love it!
Ugh, you learned how to pull hair!
You have started to really learn how to snuggle up on my shoulder when I carry you.

I am loving each and every day with you. So glad I don't have to miss any of them.

Out takes.....

As I sit here and sift through the photos to post on Bean's 5 months post, I find myself thinking:

1- It takes a lot of shots to get the right one (showing him smiling, happy, with a good shot of the onesie and the sticker, with the big brother not wanting to be in it.)

2- I'm looking for the "perfect" photo so people think I have this "motherhood" thing all put together, that I know what I'm doing and I'm doing a good job of it, ha!

So here are the out takes, the bloopers, the real life deal to our everyday charade.

Insert infant onto chair for photo. Quickly before he spits up on the onesie sticker!

Eekk.. Brother attacking. How to remove the big one for the photo?

Big one removed...little one not looking....grr.

Almost got it...I cut off the arm.

Ahhh! He's falling!!!!!

Yes, folks I did get the "perfect shot" but this is more our life these days :)

Sacrifice

I've always heard mothers talk about sacrifice for their children....and to be honest, I don't know that I've really ever had to sacrifice much for them. I enjoy doing things for them, so it's not like I'm missing out or losing when I do things for them.

Then today happened.

As we were preparing for the day this morning, MJD slammed my closet door and was messing with the lights to be silly. While I know this is a trivial thing, in our home it is something he has been repeatedly told not to do and corrected on several occasions. Plus, the door has been a little wobbly so I am afraid he will break it in one of those "fun" moments. (On a side note, he's been at his grandmother's house a few times this week, and his behavior has been a little off each day. Not sure if there is a connection to the two, or just a coincidence. But we've some how managed to veer a little off course with the great behavior we've had the last month or so.) I stopped what I was doing, told him he needed to go to time out and proceeded to lead him to his room. This sparked a rage of a battle with him! He was not having it, attitude flared; oh my where did this little Dr. Jekyll come from?

I carried him to time out, set the timer and proceeded to get things ready. SCREAMING ensues in the background. Time outs typically lead to quiet behavior because he knows if he settles down it will end. Not so this time.

I've been trying to pray "in the moment" of my need and listen to direction, rather than just responding to the situation. So I sent up a quick "911" and tried to be patient. After a few attempts at calming him down so we could talk I realized things were going south and fast! MJD was supposed to go to his grandmother's house this morning while I attended a breakfast brunch for a girlfriend from church. As I was thinking about my situation, a little voice inside started whispering, "Today he needs you. Are you going to be the mother and put him first? Are you willing to really sacrifice what you want for him?" UGH! Really God, but I'm trying to make closer relationships with the girls.

Sacrifice. I don't really do that well. I guess I don't sacrifice myself for them. Not really, not in my heart. Not always when it counts. I'm selfish, I want to be social, I want to enjoy friendships, I want to get out of the house and "play."

I threatened him with not going to his grammy's house to see if that would calm him down, knowing though that if he didn't I would have to hold firm. I called my husband to seek advice, all the while knowing where this would lead. MJD still in hysterics, I called the MIL and let her know that the play time had been cancelled. Now, I suppose I could have taken him to the brunch with me as a few other kids were going to be there, but in my heart I knew I wouldn't win the battle. He needed my attention this morning, to guide him, lead him, comfort him, and correct him. So I called and let my friend know I wasn't going to make it.

And while I miss that I "missed" out on social time with girlfriends, which I really hate to do as I still feel I am trying to connect and get involved in this stay at home mom world, my heart felt a strong sense of peace about it. We cuddled, watched a few minutes of t.v., rearranged an appointment, went to the store to get some party supplies for his upcoming birthday, stopped by CFA for lunch, ran into a few friends to play with (which was a great blessing for him to blow off some energy in the playground).

There was no fighting, no battles, no bloodshed today. I drew the line in the sand, held my ground and won the fight. I have a happy little boy asleep in his bed for a nap. And while I lost out on some time with girlfriends, the sacrifice was well worth it. I'm learning more and more each day the power of my intentional parenting. What it means to put them above my self, really above myself, not just in words but in deeds.

Small victory, yet victory all the same.

Little Bean....Big Love.....Bigger Fun

At the most recent photo session there were:


New textures and exploration....
Working on his name and letter recognition
Sweet feet....

A reminder of how much we....
our little Liam!

Unsettled confusion

I wish I could just have a good cry and let it out. By "it" I don't even know if it is frustration, sorrow, hurt, heartbreak, confusion, etc. Perhaps that is why I wish I could just cry and be done with it. Remember the days when you were little and you could just cry and then everything seemed to right in the world again? Someone wiped your tears, told you all would be well, and you felt like your world was righted again? I wish life were that simple some days.

Perhaps it is just hormones attacking my emotions. I just wish I could shake this unsettled feeling within me. Perhaps it is the enemy trying to weaken my defenses.

I suppose it is no help that I've been feeling awkwardly uncertain and out of place in this new role of housewife and mother at home all the time. Uncertain as to the future, what I truly desire to achieve, how to savor these moments. My heart was certainly not encouraged today with the sad news of another marriage heading to divorce court, especially since it was one that had just joined our Hitched group. I just can't seem to believe that I am in the stage of life where now rather than news of engagements or first pregnancies I am hearing about divorces. UGH. I hate it.