Things I want to remember

• MJD has learned Tim's name isn't just daddy. When I call across the house for him, I often hear a little echo calling, "Tim Daddy!"
• Be it speech therapy, constant conversations, or just growing up, MJD is talking so much more and making a wonderful effort to communicate with words.
• Pooping on the potty is becoming more consistent. We even had a successful delivery of the goods in a public restroom. Yuck, I know, but better than in the pants.
• MJD is becoming so good with directions. I missed our turn to go to therapy and he calls out from the back seat, "there mama!" to tell me to turn back.
  
• MJD LOVES his friends. He is constantly asking "my friend Cayman come my house?"
• MJD learned how to pray himself. Well he repeats the prayer, holds hands and is the one to say "Amen."
• Explaining the reality of God to a 2.75 year old is not an easy feat. So for now he's understood God lives in his heart, is everywhere and is good.
  
• MJD will officially start preschool next month :) Only 2 mornings a week, but we're excited about this new phase in his life. Also hoping that the communication skills, listening skills, and social skills will continue to go up with the structured setting and consistent practice.
  
• MJD loves trucks, cars, etc. His potty prize last time was a garbage truck from TS3. The child is starting to get too attached with garbage trucks :)
  
• Nena has become a guilt card for MJD. He decides he doesn't like something we do and says, "I want Nena, I go Nena house."
  
• Mr. Independent should be his nickname. He wants to try things on his own and he is constantly saying "I try."
  
• Sharing is still and issue, hope it gets better soon.
  
• Tantrums come and go, right now we're on an upswing from the bad. Seems like he is comprehending more and more and better able to reason through things.
  
• MJD had a wonderful play date with Jackson (a.k.a. my Jack friend) the other night. It is so nice to see the two boys playing so well together.
• When we tell MJD to stop crying or stop a fit or another consequence will occur, he wipes his face with his hands a few times and says, "all done crying"
  
• MJD tries so hard to help out at home sometimes. He LOVES to use the spray bottles and do his "Cleaningingng"
  

Baby Andrew

Last week during our Beth Moore video she talked about the difference between trials and tragedy. How so often we face minor inconveniences and annoyances and we call them trials or tragedies and grumble and complain about everything God is doing and how difficult things are, when the truth of the matter is all we are is annoyed at a situation.

She had a great week of lessons and a couple quotes really stuck out to me:
" Sometimes what we need to cure our fat egos is a strong dose of God." "If only we could realize that we make life so much more complicated when our approach to life is 'all about me.'"

Wow! How often do I make things about me and my minor annoyances when the truth is I am healthy, my family is healthy and while things aren't perfect in my life I am seriously blessed beyond measure.

This hits home so much more this week as I am praying for God's healing in the life of a little boy Andrew. Andrew was born a week ago to some friends of friends we know in Orlando. We met Brian and Wendy through another friend a few years ago. Their oldest son Timothy is about Mason's age, and they just welcomed baby Andrew into their family last week. When Wendy took Andrew for his 5 day appt. the doctor heard a heart murmur and sent her to the cardiologist. At the cardiologist office they rushed the baby to the children's hospital.

Now baby Andrew is on a respirator, ventilator, and being pumped with lots of medicines. Apparently his heart is barely functioning and the doctors don't yet know why. Wendy is walking through tragedy. As they wait and see if baby Andrew will be coming home with them or going home to the Lord, her faith is shaken, her body weak, and her family fearful. Yet, God is still in control, and she knows that.

Every time I think selfishly, I remind myself of Andrew and this trial in Wendy's life. I pray for their faith to sustain them, that God would heal Andrew, that Brian and Wendy would draw their strength from Him and they would see the glory of God all around them.

I cannot, as a mother, even begin to fathom the pain of leaving a hospital without your newborn in your arms, of not holding your child, of being in pain when you should be feeling joy. So if you read this post and you know the power of prayer, please join with me in praying Brian, Wendy, and baby Andrew through this trial so that it may result in healing and peace.

My moments this week

So I'm in. I love it. I need it. Beth Moore Bible Study has me hooked. Truthfully, I was very skeptical about the entire thing. I mean why are so many women in love with this lady and her work. Sounded too good to be true, and I didn't really want to jump on some kind of religious bandwagon. Been there, done that, been a fool.

This is different. It's not about the book, videos, etc. This time it's the real deal. It truly is a God thing. Beth Moore just happens to have walked the road and been through the bumps. And while I'll admit, I do love watching her in her outfits and listening to her like I'm her "girlfriend," the fact of the matter is she's just like me, broken and bruised and searching for a Healer. That's what I needed, to know someone else got it.

So after 6 weeks of sticking it out, facing myself in the mirror of my own life and not being happy with what I saw. Learning of my serious bondage to several things like pride, knowledge, achievements, etc. Dealing with sin, betrayals, resentment, trust issues, etc. This week took the cake.

Just when I think "it can't get any better" or "surely there can't be more tears, it can't get worse than that" God does it again.

So today's assignment was to isolate a moment that was shared with God this week. WOW, just one, impossible this time.

Day 1- Ashes instead of Honor- while there has never been an "emergency trauma" to my womanhood, there have been plenty of jabs and cuts along the way that seriously shaped and altered my heart in ways I never knew until I saw them for what they were. Never realized how painful different things became in my own life. Never realized I could be the same as Tamar, simply because I didn't allow myself to look past Satan's lies and see myself as the "handpicked daughter of the KING."

Day 2- To be a bride- "Our Bridegroom sometimes leads us to difficult places, but we can trust Him always to have purpose in our stay and never to forsake us." While I followed my wonderful earthly groom to this place, I never in a million years would have imagined the devastation that would occur in my life and in my spirit. I thought for a long time that it was a mistake, and perhaps it truly was in some ways, but knowing that even in this difficult place I can trust HIM to redeem it and have purpose in it has been a great comfort. Watching HIM change the understanding of what was my purpose in being here to HIS purpose in being here has refreshed my heart, given me peace and a hope for the future. This day changed so much of my paradigm on God as my groom, provider, and Lord.

Day 3- To be beautiful- Two quotes from the lesson that meant a lot- "I rarely meet a person who has come to trust God fully without painfully confronting the fact that she can't trust herself." I'm learning that now, and yes, it's painful, but knowing the One I can trust is helping. "I'd like to suggest that God sometimes allows us to be let down and disappointed in life so we will learn to set our hopes more fully in Him." OUCH! So true in my life.

Day 4- To be Fruitful- Some things that struck home for me today, all from her lesson:
" An unhappy woman usually needs a change of heart more than of circumstances."
"God-given dreams are the realm from which God can bring an even greater reality!"
" Our disappointment with God is often the result of our small thinking."

Of course God's timing is hilarious that this day and these things would be said to me following quite an interesting conversation with a close friend and coming up on a day when I would serve with little ones in church. I'm sure it made Him smile ;)

Day 5- To live happily ever after- Had to stop after this and ponder- "God surpasses our dreams when we reach past our personal plans and agendas to grab the hand of Christ and walk the path he chose for us." Are my dreams really His dreams? Am I walking the path He chose, or the one I did?


Through it all, God is showing me how he's turning my ashes in His beautiful creation. Truth be told, it's helping me better understand the ashes, and willing to let go of them.

Hmmm.....

Today......

I totally slept through my husband's good morning I'm leaving for work kiss....
Woke up to cereal and a smiley 2 year old in my bed.....
Left syrup on my ottoman because we ran out of the house.....
Had lunch with a very lovely lady and some sweet little kids.......
Got hurt by something petty, which I knew was going to hurt from the beginning.....
Made some yummy dinner......
Played with way too much Play Doh!!!!!!!
Went to a meeting with some amazing people who truly inspire me to be better than I am.....
Committed to a place of leadership which is requiring a lot of faith from me......
I stepped outside of my comfort zone......
Stood up to insecurity and told it to go away.......
Re-prioritized who is truly important in my life.....
Have dealt with a terrible headache and neck pain....
Had a wonderful conversation with my sister......
Laughed with my husband......
Made some serious decisions about my upcoming future.....
Taught my child how to make brownies.... and eat them..........
Took the puppy to the groomer and listened to my little one cry for his puppy.....

Tonight I put my little boy to sleep and listened to him talk about how God makes the thunderstorms stop and how He makes the "baby" rain come in the afternoon. Tonight my world shifted as I watched his "childlike faith" in action. Tonight I am putting away my fears, insecurities, and myself and just going to let God do His thing through us.

This journey isn't easy, but it's worth it. He really is showing His faithfulness to me, one day at a time. Today He did, and I know tomorrow He will too.

Mama vs. Mommy

Things have been busy the last week or two. So much going on and so little time to blog about things. Rather than blog about everything, I think I'll just do one.

Some where along the lines of the last 10 days I went from being "mama" to my little guy to "mommy." I'm not sure there's any real difference to him, but to me hearing "mommy" come out of his little mouth makes him sound like such a big boy.

Silly, I know, but somehow it's changed things. Not sure if it changed me, him, the way I see him, or the way he sees me. All I know is that he's growing up super quick. I'm not the kind of mom who wants him to be a baby forever. I enjoy the transitions and the changes. I love watching him grow out of one stage and step into another, and I look forward to all the stages yet to come.

With that said, some days it feels like time just slips away. Moments of tenderness pass too quickly. I don't want to freeze frame his life, just want to make some special moments last a little longer.

So for now, I'm enjoying the moments when I'm still just "mama" and he sounds like a little boy, and I'm learning what "mommy" sounds like when he's being all independent.

Making a mess... I mean dinner

This has not been my week in the kitchen. Between the pudding and strombolli, I was happy to eat out tonight. We'll give it another go tomorrow night :) At least the company was fun and the memories funnier!

16 things

I love......

Dinner with friends and 1/2 off pizza.
The summer rain that cools things off.
Starbucks with girls at night.
A husband who lets me enjoy fun times with friends.
Having people for dinner and watching my home be "used" by little ones.
MJD telling me "pitty mama"
Matchbox cars and Lightning McQueen.
Random hugs and kisses.
Taking a "nap" in the afternoon with my son.
Making cool new projects that the kiddos use.
The new Spicy Chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-a.
New friends and making strombolli for dinner together.
Blogging and taking fun photos.
Checking things off my to-do list.
Saving $$$$ with coupons.
Beth Moore studies.
God changing my want to's.

I hate.....
The outrageous price of drinks in restaurants.
Afternoon thunderstorms where the thunder wakes my baby from nap time.
2 year old tantrums.
Timeouts and spankings.
Drama.
Poop in underware :(
Mean people.
Selfishness.
100% humidity.
Starbucks drinks at night, bad idea.
Busy days without Bible time.
Satan.
Young mommies dying.

My husband's shoes lying around the room.

That ice cream makes you gain weight.
Being a working mom outside the home.