Searching

It's late, I'm tired, yet I can't sleep.

I've learned tossing and turning in bed only makes me more restless, so I usually get up for a while and then am able to fall asleep. Tonight my Bible found it's way in front of me again.

As I search through the pages, not entire sure of what I'm searching for anyway, I come across this.....


Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Prov. 19:21 (NIV)

It's not highlighted or marked, or anything, it was just there. How true is that verse in my life. My plans have very rarely matched up with God's purpose, or so it seems in the past few years. I thought my plans were in line with His purpose, but it doesn't seem to be the way things have worked out. So after anger, silence, hurt, confusion and so many other feelings, I am just here. Open, willing, waiting and learning.

Learning is the hard part. It requires me to accept I'm not perfect and have to change in order to be better, not better, more like Christ. My plans have been many, but no matter what it's the Lord's purpose, not my plans, that prevail. So the interruptions in my life I have to take as God telling me His purpose has to prevail.

So the question is, am I to know the purpose? Am I to know it now, or somewhere down the road? I have to believe as His child he would have me to have understanding, but that doesn't always mean it comes right away. Ought I to keep questioning and petitioning, or just be patient and see what happens?

No matter what, knowing its His purpose that will prevail gives me a sense of comfort. Even if it doesn't match up the plans I have in my heart or in my flesh, it means He's still in control of my life. So I'll sit here and be content in the today and let tomorrow come with what it may.