Grrr

So in keeping with full disclosure of the up and down of motherhood....today was a DOWN kind of nothing I can do will win day :/

Set the stage: MJD spent the night Sunday night with his Nena and Papa...yeah! Middle of the day Nena calls me and asks me to research this Dream Light dog that MJD saw on t.v. and desperately wants....there was an online code and could I just order it for her to give to him. He even said he saw it in the stores.....ok, I check it out. Hello, not allowing her to spend $40 for it online plus shipping and decide it can wait a few days before we commit....

Tuesday....I am babysitting Audrey who is 12 months old, have Bean and MJD and decide to take the kids out to breakfast at CFA to play and get out energy so they will all nap well in the afternoon and I can have a break. (Good plan right, plan for a crazy morning and enjoy the calm afternoon?!?!) After we eat and play nicely, with friends who joined us nonetheless, we head over to Target....5 kids in tow and one of us pregnant! (You should have seen the looks I got from cranky old ladies, I swear I could hear them saying, "Doesn't this chick get the clue and stop having babies!?" in their heads.)

MJD spots the Dream Lite Puppy, because of course the idiotic managers at Target hate mothers of small children and have an entire end cap display of these $30 stinking light up pillow pets!!!!! So I tell him, we will call Nena and you and her can come tomorrow together and get one here. (I thought this was a great idea, especially since I was planning a fun day for him for Wed.) 

Wednesday.....we were supposed to have a family day at the zoo, however it got pushed back because of some work engagements for Tim....so knowing that the kids, mainly MJD, would wake up and be disappointed I made arrangements for Nena to watch Bean and I would take MJD to the movie theater just the two of us, then do some school clothing shopping and lunch out....am I not the best mother ever?!?!? I totally should have just said, oh well, no zoo, let's play inside the house all day!

Morning is going great, we load up and head out, MJD choosing to use his Leapster 2 in the car...so I go inside and pick up the iPod and go to put it in the little viewer contraption I made for the car so Liam can watch a show on the way.....MJD starts a fit! He wants both :/ Not acceptable. Fit ensues.... I see this quickly climaxing out of control....too late....we have full blown screaming in the car.... (Does anyone elses' child do this or is this particular to my breed of 4 year old?) I am literally down the street from my house.....pull over, calmly open his door and tell him to control himself or he will have to leave the car....he does not....(I should at this point go home....however there are now several people who are going to be inconvenienced because of different plans I have made and I am optimistic that if he will just allow me to take him on our date and spend some one on one time together he will enjoy the day and feel loved.) so I remove him from the vehicle and get in the driver seat and move the car forward 20 feet so he knows how serious I am....he screams more and runs next to the car....(Can I tell you at this point I want to laugh, no idea why, but I know this is going to end bad and laughing seems the only inappropriate appropriate response.) Stop the car, get out, show him neighbors are now watching his fit, he calms down, agrees to behave and we go....I remind him we will get this treat of a pillow pet if he can change his behavior quickly, have a nice day, meet up with Nena and have fun.....make it to the half way mark of our 10 minute drive and he freaks out again because he wants the iPod rather than the Leapster and begins fit again....so in thinking that I don't want to be the bad guy and ruin the day I quickly call hubby to come talk to him....we pull into Tim's work, he comes out, takes MJD into office and chats with him...out comes MJD who was calm for .5 seconds and then has a fit again....to which Tim responds no pillow pet today :/ I knew this was inevitable, but it was the nail in the coffin for a terrible day. We get to mall, drop off Bean with Nena which produces another round of screaming because MJD wants to go with her and can't process I was trying to do something nice for him and take him out alone......GRR!!!! I am LOSING patience at this point and throw him in the car to go home. Praying for grace and remembering he's 4, and a lot of life changes are happening for him, and he's 4, and I am irritable from hormones and he's 4, and he's 4....I calm down, allow him to calm down, he apologizes for the fit to Nena and asks to go to the movie.....I succumb, because I of course actually wanted this date to be wonderful and surely if he will just let me snuggle him while we watch this movie and spend some time together he will be happy, right? Oi....immediately after movie and a couple times throughout the showing he remembers he lost the dog privilege and begins to tear up...really? Still on that?

We make it home....after a long and not at all the kind of day I planned, with no Dream Lite dog, a very miserable 4 year old and a confused 15 month old....take naps, and thank God I was able to sleep, because the moment MJD woke up and came to my room to wake me up he was talking about going to Target to get the dog! Really kid, did you miss the entire morning where we fought and fought and fought some more and you lost the dog, how was that not clear enough for you? No is NO! To which another battle ensues and at this point I am SICK AND TIRED of hearing about this thing and call Nena to let her know she is NEVER to promise him anything again :( By the time Tim walked in from work, I looked defeated on the sofa.....Oi! (Mind you with hormones and being 6 months pregnant....I am near tears...wondering why I am such a terrible mother, how things got this bad, who this little creature is and what has happened to my sweet child?!) So I quickly called a friend for a quick rescue because honestly I couldn't handle the struggle anymore. So after the changing of the guard in our house I whipped up dinner, while MJD and Tim fought about the dog...to which apparently Tim was able to put an end to and I left the house until 8:35 at which time MJD was being tucked into bed. 

I know....long horrible rant that nobody really cares, and if you are still reading this post, there is probably something wrong with you. But so goes my day.....I still can't figure out why in the world he wanted to spoil a day I had wanted to be so nice. Today just sucked. The only words I can think of to describe this dog toy are all expletives I would not put in the blog....and I don't have one in my home and I already hate it! Surely tomorrow has to be a better day??? Right?