Papa with his boys

Nothing made me smile more than watching this big boy enjoy these little boys....

Bean Burrito

Easter 2011

Well 3 out of 4 looking isn't bad....Hope you had a fantastic Easter. We love the holiday here in our home and try to make as big of a deal out of it as possible. So happy we have a living God.

Weekend festivities included Egg hunt at DC3 with some most favorite people.
Hanging out with other boy friends to cause chaos with.....
Petting ducks and chicks.........
Little one didn't really get much too excited this year :) But he sure looked cute sleeping.....
Watching a movie as brothers with pacifiers.....new development for the Big one :)
Falling asleep on the sofa waiting for the Easter Bunny to come......
The loot from the Bunny :)
Enjoying his super cool new umbrella......

Big Boy MJD

Sweet memory from today.....

At parent pick up, Janel shared that today during prayer time when she asked for prayer requests, MJD told her..."Sometimes I have tantrums. My mommy tells me to 'Be Good'." To which she said she just couldn't help but laugh.

Must have prayed for you to not have tantrums today, because you have had a great day with me.

2 weeks

Two weeks old....8lbs. 11 ounces.
You sleep for the majority of the day...only awake at about 5 am :)
Frequent hiccups which make you mad!
You love to eat....every time you are conscious.
Big fan of the pacifier.
You like to be swaddled, but need an arm out.
We have consumed 4 packages of newborn diapers and 3 packs of wipes. You like to poop!
Eyes are still blue, hair still strawberry blondish....
Yucky umbilical cord still there.
2.5 baths
Not quite a pee all over people kind of boy, thank Heavens!
Loves to cuddle in bed with mama in the middle of the night.
Tolerating the swing and bouncy chair.
Great sleeper through your big brother's tantrums.

First Monday

Today was my first day at home alone with both boys. Crazy, I know. But up until now big boy has been at grammy's or with Nena or Tim has been home to help.

Today, we had time outs, tantrums and normal life again.

Today, we dealt with lots of feeding time and having to deal with mama not being able to be at big boy's beckon call.

Today both boys napped at the same time and I watched t.v.

Today I did a lot of laundry for two very small people :)

Today I taught myself I can do this motherhood of two thing.

Today was a great Monday at home with my sweet little guys.

Brothers

This makes my mama heart happy :)

Nena & Papa

Nena left with Papa today.

I'm just sad.

Tried to be strong, but it's too much work.

Think I am just going to be sad a little longer.

I wish they were here.

Miss them terribly :(

Today

Today I successfully got big boy to school , little one fed and happy for the excursion. All by myself, with no help and on time. By the way we were also all clean, fed, dressed nicely and ready for the day out.

Today big boy, little boy and mama all took a nap at the same time!

Today I walked out of my house on our way out to dinner, with both sets of grandparents, and realized that I was still wearing my house slippers. :)

Today was just a good day :)

One Week.....

A lot happened in this home the past week....

Mama had a new baby

Daddy took his engineering test, again...no photos.

MJD met his brother

We came home from the hospital to recover....

Bean had his first bath, not a fan yet :)

Sharon came by for a breakfast visit with Corbin and the two boys got to meet.
(Corbin looked like he was trying to "fist pump" Liam. That or just punch his new buddy.)

Nena came for her visit....with a surprise for us.....PAPA!!!!

Things to remember before I forget:

*So in love with this little guy.
*MJD is eating up all the grandparent attention. He will be distraught when they have to leave this weekend :(
*MJD has been enjoying "adventures" with Papa in the hotel for sleepovers.
* Insane amounts of presents are pouring in for the big guy, no wonder he loves having a brother around, he gets all the fun and attention :)
*I conquered my mommy fear of nursing in public yesterday. Used my handy wrap that I made and it worked well and went smoothly.
*Liam went to a newborn visit and checked out well....then his eye got goopy and his skin turned yellow so back we went... Clogged tear duct and possible jaundice, but the test came back okay for now, just a tad high.
*Weight check....birth was 8.3, hospital night was 7.14, doctor was 7.8, 6 days old up to 8.0
*Bean is a great sleeper!!!! All he does, please Lord let him be like this for a long while, mama likes her rest.
* Tried to roll over on the doctor table this week....overachiever on my hands!

Sorry Shakespeare

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." ~ William Shakespeare.

While a rose would still smell like a rose, the implication that the name of the item doesn't matter is something I have to disagree on Shakespeare with. After keeping friends and family in the dark, well as many as MJD didn't blab too at least, the story behind our baby boy's name is here.

At 14 weeks along in the pregnancy we already knew we were going to have a baby boy. I began to experience some bleeding and we were frightened I was going to miscarry. On the way to the doctor's office I sat in the car battling tears and praying for my little boy. All the time thinking that if I lost this little love I didn't even have a name for him yet. As I felt on the verge of terror, God in His amazing goodness washed over me and spoke peace to my heart that He was in deed my great Almighty and would protect my little bean. He knew how much I desired this baby and would provide for us in this fear.

Tim and I had already compiled a list of names we liked and were debating.... when we returned from the doctor and had learned that everything was in deed fine and healthy, I went through each name on the list to research meanings and ideas.

LIAM- a shortening of the name William. Meaning....PROTECTOR, DESIRE, WILL.

That was it! His middle name, Andrew, is a family name on my father's side. Also the name my parents had hoped we would use for a first name. I love the name, but didn't want a Drew or Andy for short. Andrew means strong and manly.

I knew right away, from the depth of my soul that every time I would look in his face or say his name, that same peace God gave me and assurance of His presence would flood my heart. So that is part and parcel to why we kept the name a secret too. I wanted the joy of that experience to be just mine for a while. I wanted people to ask about his name, so every time I share the story I can remember God's grace in that moment.

Liam Andrew,
May you always know that from before you were thought of on this earth, you were very much desired in Heaven. Your very beginning was planned, loved and willed with everything we could have done here on earth and with all of God's love in Heaven. You are a very special gift to us and those you meet. Your life has purpose and a will far greater than anything I as a mother can ever dream.

And yes, many times I still will call you "Bean", because to be honest your name evokes some emotions too great for me at times. So as you lay here beside me in bed, just a mere 3 days old, I want you to know I savor every second of this life with you. Every step of this journey, from your beginning to your arrival has shown me the protection and provision of our God. Every sight of your sweet face reminds me of how mighty God is.

48 hours

Amazing the changes that can happen in 48 hours....

Gave birth to a sweet little boy.
Brought him home with a joyful heart filled with love and excitement.
Heard heartbreaking and Jesusfilling news that a friend from our church went home to be with Jesus.

My faith and trust in Jesus reminds me this is the beginning of an eternal fortune, not the end of life. At the same time, as I tucked my boys to sleep last night and watch them together in my bed this morning, I can't help but in my flesh grieve the pain and loss of a mother who will have a pain in her heart until she too goes home to our Jesus.

Such joy and such sorrow.

Little Bean's Debut

Little Bean..a.k.a. Liam Andrew has finally come to round out our little family. My what an experience the ordeal was.

Not quite the 1 hour shower event that had been stressing us, we did make it to the hospital, but not the way we thought things were going to go down.

Monday morning I had an OB appointment for my 38 week visit. I was about 3 cm and 70% which had been an improvement. Looking back, it's possible I had been farther along than that, doctor may have been a little conservative. (He told me if I was still pregnant next week he'd do an induction the the 14th, which I was not to happy about as I had planned on the 12th.) Had planned to blog Monday night but fell asleep first.

I ran to Babies R Us with Tim, back into town for some errands on my own while MJD played at grammy's house, picked up my little guy, home for a nap, a little cuddle time and t.v. and then dinner with Daddy at Jason's. Nothing particularly interesting, no signs of impending labor, and I had honestly thought bean would hold out till the weekend. Did do some of laundry, wasn't particularly exhausted, sore or experiencing a lot of contractions.

Tim studied for his test till 11 or so, we went to bed and I had mapped out my Tuesday activities with a girlfriend I had been planning.

1:36 am....MJD escaped his room and snuck into bed, too tired to move him and he wanted to hug me so he fell asleep with us.

2:50 am....woke up like normal to go to the bathroom. Crazy how I noticed that my hips hurt insanely!!! Almost couldn't walk, but did manage to hobble to the bathroom and back to bed. Crawled into bed and in an effort to get comfortable I moved my leg on a pillow, felt baby move and heard a "pop" sound.

2:55 am....Tim woke up, asked how I was, explained what happened and he asked if I was wet and my water had broken, I hadn't felt any "gush" so I hesitated and then began to feel a "trickle" of something. He helped me out of bed, I went to the bathroom and realized I was gushing blood. Called Amanda but got no answer, called the in laws to get MJD and began to load up the car. No contractions at this point, just kept feeling like I had to pee.

3:15-3:20....In laws came and collected MJD and we left the house for the hospital. Contractions started in the car, began about every 7 minutes, then every 5, by the time we arrived at hospital they were every 2-3 minutes.

4:00....arrived at hospital, lady at ER tried to delay us, big mistake with a contracting mama...found L&D, membranes decided to rupture, LOTS of water....got to room to change and get admitted....EEEKKK!!! pools of blood around me. Now at this point I was afraid placenta had ruptured/detached because the nurses looked scared, asked about last ultrasound, paged a doctor immediately, got me to a bed quickly, checked me immediately. Was 6 cm and 90%.

4:20 ish....nurse checked me again as blood was pooling on the bed, starting to make me nervous!!! 7 cm. Eek, this is happening quickly. Contractions were strong but tolerable, not pleasant. Asked about an epidural because I knew I was running out of time. Then discovered they couldn't give me one because they didn't have my labs and records from the OB office in the system! Seriously?!?! Nurse explained I needed to prepare to do this without pain meds. I only remembered the pain of the first one and was about to panic.

(side note.....with MJD I was induced and contractions came with Pitocin. Those were ridiculous, could not be tolerated, felt like life was ending with just a few of those before pain meds were administered. Natural contractions were by no means pleasant, and not to diminish the pain, but not at all as bad as they were the first time. I could still talk through them, felt yucky, but not on death's door.)

4:45ish... My OB arrived, apparently the nurses were scared and woke him up rather than using the on call OB, checked me, didn't seem worried. Promised he'd get me the epidural if I could hang on a bit.

5 am.... Anesthesiologist arrived, (apparently OB had some pull!) inserted the cath for meds, test dose given, full dose given, body began to relax after about a half hour, one leg heavy, one leg mobile (but reverse from last time, funny huh?) lower pain abated some, upper pain in belly still really strong. (If you have done labor naturally and think the epidural numbs all pain, not so, just takes some edge off, I could still feel each onset, full length and release of every contraction, feel baby moving, pull legs, feel pressure to push, etc.)

6 am.... Nurses ready for shift change, checked again, 9.5 cm and ready any time. Told to relax and rest a bit for the epidural to work a little longer. Baby was a bit high yet and hadn't dropped down enough.

7 am... Body ready to have baby, bed adjusted to make baby come down birth canal better before pushing. resting at a moderate level of pain, waiting for OB to enter.

8 am... OB arrives, checks me and asks me to do a practice push. (At this point, I'm thinking it would be like last time with a while of practice pushing before actual delivery, not so much this time.) He tells me to then wait for the next contraction, then gets up, gears up, adjusts things. I feel the next one begin, push twice, relax, wait, next contraction, push, push, and BEAN ARRIVED at 8:20!!!

Yes, I know....

Yes folks, I am quite aware how big my belly is. I am amazed at the brazen, rude and obnoxious people in public. No, I'm not carrying quadruplets, it's just one. One amazing, healthy, perfectly chubby baby boy. (Yes, every ultrasound I have had measures that his belly is big and he likes to eat, so therefore I eat!)

I have eaten to my belly's content, and I am full term with a big baby boy. My first son was 8 lbs. 11 oz. and I fully expect this baby to be close to those numbers.

This is the only time in my life where I'm okay with my weight being above 125 lbs., with wearing a size 6 pant, and with having swollen feet.

And for all those rude, nasty people, just remember this.....in a few weeks, my belly will begin shrinking back to normal, all this water weight will be gone, my hips will return to normal, or close to it. I will again come back to a normal stable weight, and will once again wear sexy jeans.

And the plus side to all of that is my boobs will look amazing as I try to keep up with nursing a growing, hungry, baby boy!

As I'm not sure if this will be my last baby or not, I'm just going to relish the last few days of this huge baby belly, discomfort and all, because in the end (Lord willing) I will have a snuggly little bean to rock to sleep and cuddle with, all those rude old men will still have their yucky beer bellies.

Waiting on a boy....

As we wait for little bean's arrival, Tim decided we needed a family date night. So MJD got to pick our dinner location, Bob Potato a.k.a. Bob Evans for pancakes, and then a trip to our local want to be beach. Not for water play, just for sand digging.

As I stand behind them, watching them watch boats and fish, I can't help but think about how much I love these boys. God knew so well that my heart needed to be surrounded by the love of boys.

Just waiting on another one to join the crew.

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