1.16.2012

Home Base

In baseball a batter gets up to play with the sole goal of hitting the ball hard enough to get himself or his teammate back to home base.

A safe zone.

The security zone.

Where nothing can harm them, where they return after their run around the field, where they go to celebrate with their team on their accomplishment, or even in some cases just where they return when they have been called out by the umpire.
The beginning spot and their ending zone.
Home Base.

As the sun peaks into the horizon this morning, I have a little nine month old snuggled up on my arm with a grasp around it that won't let go, or allow me to fall back asleep. And yes, every futile attempt to move him wakes him up and he proceeds to snuggle closer and tighter.
For a brief moment I was annoyed, doesn't he know mama wanted to sleep some more?
Then it settled. Home Base.

For only a few more short months I will proceed to remain his whole world, source of comfort, food, fun, safety, security, shelter, and so much more. But as he gets bigger and more independent his world will shift, as it did with my big one, and Mommy will have to step back and let Daddy take the place of his whole world. It is a hard place to be in, to see coming, to acknowledge, and to be strong enough to move through successfully. I know why so many women struggle to release their boys over to their fathers as they grow, it is hard. Yet I know the importance of the process and how God uses that time to build a warrior from a boy, and more than my selfish desires, I do want my boys to be His warriors. And I am so grateful for such a wonderful earthly father for my boys who will help lead them to know Jesus and wants the same desires of my heart for them.

As I lay here and ponder these things, with a sweet little breathe on my arm it brings tears to me. Not just as I think about my boys growing too quickly and my inability to slow life down, but because in the stillness of the morning God reminded me I am blessed to be the Home Base for my boys. I can be their beginning launching pad and their safe zone when they return from adventuring this life, I want so desperately to do this as well as I can, through His grace, to always be their Home Base. The one to stand and wait to celebrate their success, comfort their pain, learn from their losses, and finish this game of life well with them.
As I think about the joy my heart swells with at just the thought of this, He reminds me that He wants me to call Him my home base as well. And that without my going to Him, I won't ever adequately be enough for my own kids.

I know, a little much for a sunrise post, but isn't sleep overrated anyways as a mom? Besides now that my thoughts are out, my big boy is awake and ready to play :)

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