Heaviness

The past couple weeks of my world have been swamped with a million things on my to do list, demanding children, needy family members, a busy work schedule for my husband, and endless responsibility....so as I climbed into bed the other night ready to curl into a ball to sleep, with this aching desire to just cry, I found myself just feeling as if life was heavy. 

My heart burdened for loved ones......heaviness. 

My days busy with littles......heaviness. 

My nights filled with housework, homework and headaches.....heaviness. 

As my husband wrapped his arms around me to offer me his strength and comfort, he whispered, "You feel heavy because you are trying to carry burdens that you were never meant to carry." 

Ouch, truth. I know this....yet I keep finding myself back at this pace, this need to pick up a burden that isn't mine to hold. A need to control what is out of my control....and all it does is lead me to a place of struggle, frustration and heaviness. 

I need so much to cling to these truths, to hide them deep in my heart and have them spill forth more often so I do not take on the heaviness of this world. 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

Matthew 11:28-30

Praise be to The Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Psalms 68:19

Kindergarten here we come!

My big guy went from a bundle of baby into a bouncy 5 year old in the blink of an eye! And down in the south we start school super early....must be because by the end of May the heat index is astronomical already! 

So a couple weeks ago we made lunch, ironed uniforms, filled out tons of papers and off to kindergarten we went! 

Big guy totally loves it! I felt like a wreck but held it together....at least in front of him. I wanted to linger in his classroom longer....but he sat down and did his thing and I just had to kiss him and walk away..... That is SO hard sometimes. Especially for this "want to control everything on my life" kinda girl. 

"Is it the right choice?" "Should I home school?" "All day?!?! He will be gone a long time!" "What if he gets hurt, or someone hurts him, or he gets in trouble, or bullied..." The enemy had me in a  tailspin of emotions, doubts and fears. 

And then I prayed....and peace whispered to my heart. "I love him more than you do. I am always with him. I will not call him to something I will not walk through with him. Just trust me." 

This whole making choices for your kids thing is hard! So many options and opinions and voices in the world, all often well intended, but sometimes difficult to discern. 

So on the first day of kindergarten my big dude wasn't the only one learning lessons. I had some of my own to learn. Like letting go just a little, trusting a whole lot more and staying in constant prayer. 

And now, weeks into the year my dude is doing great! His teacher is fantastic, he loves her and his new friends, he has mastered buying lunch, new classes, staying on his behavior chart and even moving up to the amazing "blue level" and his first week of homework. Always love how beautifully God takes care of everything!