Moments

I don't always pause and allow the moment to happen.....I am glad it happened today while we were in the car.

MJD: When you die you go to heaven?

Me: Yes if you believe in Jesus and ask him to live in your heart.

MJD: If you don't go to heaven you go to hell?

Me: Yes

MJD: Are there benches?

Me: In hell? I don't know baby. But mommy won't be there, I am going to heaven.

MJD: Because you are a good person and love Jesus.

Me: Well mommy isn't always a good person. But I asked Jesus in my heart. Do you know how to do that?

MJD: Jesus makes your heart not black anymore?

Me: Yes, I told Jesus I am sorry for my sin, when I do bad things, and He came in my heart.

MJD: When you do bad things you say sorry to Jesus and he comes back in?

Me: Well once you ask him in your heart he never leaves, but when you do something bad you make him sad, so you have to say sorry and ask for help to be good.

MJD closes his eyes and I hear him mumble something of a prayer in the back seat....all I catch is "sorry" and "make my heart not black"

I don't quite know what all he processes and understands at this tender age of 4.....I want to make sure I don't push what isn't ready yet.....something is brewing.....I want him to have a relationship more than a religion to grow up in.....Lord, lead this so I don't screw him up!

Px4

Peak.... Today, after a couple of hours at Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party, my man took me to Joanns, Hobby Lobby, Target and topped it off with burgers at Five Guys

Pit.....5 days of hard core workouts at the gym

Prayer....Bless and protect our marriage over the next few weeks as some major changes begin to develop and we make some serious decisions.

Praise..... God is so gracious to bless me with 2 sweet, healthy and happy little boys who drive me crazy and color my life

Nothing I can do....

I feel like in my current state there is nothing I can do about things. It is out of my control. As I began to feel a dark head of anger, fear and resentment raise its head in my heart this morning I came upon these words in my Bible Study which brought me to tears.

Thank you sweet Jesus, for meeting me where I am at and rescuing me from myself.