This is my life?!?! Really? Far from the world conquering dreams I had 10 years ago. 10 years....how did 10 years of my life already pass by? Wasn't I just the over confident, insecure 19 year old girl with dreams of city living and career building? As I viewed myself in my yoga pants, black top and flip flops I thought back to the days of shopping in high fashion designer stores with high heels, designer jeans and clingy tops! What happened to my life?
I did. I chose this. I willingly and actively chose the life of motherhood. I made a conscious choice to have sex and make babies and this is what happens. And on top of it....I chose to give up my career, stop building a 401K, put aside the accolades and professional recognition, and the paychecks. Long gone are the days of hearing "well done" by my boss and going out for drinks or dinner with co-workers, instead my days are smothered in sticky touches, lots of laundry, crumb scattered furniture, kissing boo-boos, building Legos, nursing babies and changing diapers, lots and lots of diapers! And the wild thing? I love it. I wouldn't change a moment of it. (Not that there aren't days of insane chaos, where I want to hid in the closet with chocolate and cry.)
No one is going to come home tonight and say, "Thanks for going to buy groceries or thanks for the clean clothes." The tasks are mundane, and when I worked outside of my home, I would have hired someone else to do the work for me. But there's a purpose in it; far greater than I care to admit sometimes. And the more that I do it, the more my heart finds peace in it. The more I learn how to be the heart of my home.
There are three little lives that I chose to bring to this world. That bear my name, have my eyes and smiles. Three little men who will grow up and may conquer the giants I never will all because I chose to do the simple acts of everyday life. And I could choose to try and conquer the world; I could very well go back to work today if I wanted and pick up any career and make a name for myself. We'd have more money, more things, more vacations, more "stuff", but then who would go with these little cuties to the grocery store? So I will conquer nap time and exercising at home this week instead, and thank God for another day of grace to share with these little lovelies.
And when life gets rough and the days feel long, when Satan throws his best shots at me to bring me down, I will remind myself of the goodness of God in giving me days like today. Days when I choose to be mommy, and all that it entails. Because the days may be long but the years are short, and this season will fly by!
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You, my friend, are a GREAT mommy!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for this reminder!! Some days I try hard to find the peace in my decision to stay home...I often forget to just sit and have a tea party or build with legos...to enjoy my kids instead of trying to wrangle them in to be the "moral" little people I want them to be. To do the things I (and society) think are right and not to do the things I (and society) think are wrong! I'm so glad to know there are other mommies out there doing the same things as me!! We're in it together girlfriend! :) Too bad we can't just go to a laundromat together to do the 20 loads of laundry I do every week. No joke. 20. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across your blog in a search for boy blogs. I, myself, am a stay at home mom of 3 boys. Thanks for this post...it is exactly what I needed today! Being a mom is hard, but I would choose no other "job"! I was just asked this weekend if I would ever go back to work. I thought about it for a second and said, "But, I'm having so much fun at home! How can I justify giving myself for others' kids and not my own?" Thanks for the reminder of how great this job really matters.
ReplyDeleteKristy,
DeleteSo very glad that the post blessed your day. This job is HARD! But there is no joy without sorrow and no success without failures, so we learn from the bad days and savor the amazing days, and thank God for every day with our littles! :) Hope you keep reading!