85 and counting

Dear little Lincoln,

There are officially only 85 days to go til your anticipated arrival date. In all honesty I don't know if you and I will make it that long, but we're working on keeping you in there til you are good and healthy enough to join us out here. So much of this blog is consumed with the day to day lives of your big brothers, that I thought while they are down for naps I would spend some time talking to and about you.

This pregnancy with you has by far been the hardest for me in many ways. But like so many of life's rewards, the hardest work always reaps the greatest joy. So I hope you never believe that because this pregnancy was hard for me that it wasn't joyful, because each day that you grow inside of me I know your Maker is stitching your little life a little closer to mine.

We had about 10 wonderful weeks together, but lately I have been extra tired and not sleeping well at night, so I just lie awake most nights and pray for you. (And then search ideas on Pinterest!) Your little life was not timed the way we would have planned as parents, and yet there is such an excitement that it brings to my heart. To know that you are so special and so important that God would form you into our world for His divine purpose.....gives me shivers to imagine the man you will be one day.

I keep wondering what your little face will look like. I joke with folks that you'll have black spikey hair and bright blue eyes because each one of you boys have such different features and characteristics yet look so much like brothers. Honestly, I've been trying to figure out a way to convince the doctor to do another ultrasound or get your daddy to go do one with me, just so I can see your sweet little self again. Crazy I know, you'll be here soon enough.

There has been a lot of chaos in the "circumstances" of our lives lately as your parents, but it has been a sweet season of peace, surrender and trust in God. I hope your little life can sense that peace, even now as you're growing inside of me. I never would have thought that the surprise of your existence would have been the guiding force and answer to so many of our prayers.

This go around we decided to not keep your precious name a secret....Your daddy picked your first name, Lincoln, which means "lake settlement"....not so amazing on the surface, but when we researched it a bit and prayed on it, it seemed like the contrast of the power of water in "lake" and the resolve in "settle" seemed like it would match your character. In searching the men of history with your name, you father was drawn to the wisdom and character of Abraham Lincoln. A man of conviction, integrity and the resolve to do what needed to be done, regardless of the opinions of those around him. I think it was that fact that solidified it for us. This deep desire that you would grow into such a man. I got to pick your middle name, Brandt, which means "sword, fiery torch, beacon." Aside from the fact that I just loved the name, I love that it contrasts the element of water with fire. Two of God's most powerful creations in harmony with each other, both powerful, necessary, and a balance to the other. In my heart you feel like this child of balance in our lives. A mix of settled determination with a fierce and fiery heart, our sweet Lincoln Brandt.

Not a whole lot in our home has changed too much for your arrival, honestly, with a move impending and most baby items just waiting to be put back into place somewhere, we're pretty aware of how things flow this time around. However, a whole lot has been going on underneath the surface of our lives as we prepare for your arrival, and I think that is the most exciting thing about your life.

Your biggest brother just can't seem to wait to meet you. Mason loves to come up to my belly and talk to you and kiss you. You don't seem to cooperate much on kicking or jabbing him. Liam doesn't seem to be too interested. I think he knows something is changing but other than my round belly his world seems to stay the same. You do seem to kick him off of me more these days when he tries to cuddle up on top of me :)

We're so looking forward to meeting you face to face, holding you in our arms and having you complete our little world! So until your arrival, I'll keep praying for you, eating your favorite Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream, and you keep yourself growing strong.

Love,
Mommy